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Fear factor in my house.

Before she came, totally uncharacteristic to me, I didn’t give it much thought. Maybe because I like her more then I like my dad (that’s an understatement) and I didn’t think that it was the first time in 10 years that we were under the same roof. After the army (Israel 18-21) I left the house and never came back. It was as dramatic as it seems because Israel is smaller then Macys in midtown, but the separation was needed. Thinking about it we have been having phone call relationship for the last 10 years and it’s been good. The uncomfortableness didn’t come at once but when it came I went along with it. Suddenly she is giving me remarks about the 1st one action or trying to educate her. In Hebrew there is a saying "shlom-baiit" meaning peace at home, which sometimes you need to pick your fights. Maybe that’s what I should have done instead of fighting with her about what she should or shouldn’t do while she is here.
I look at my friends - not all of then - and their parents and I see emotions, support, trust - things I didn’t have, and I look at my kids and I really hope to stay alert and on my toes all the time, and to hide behind empty sentences that a lot of us heard too many times
I did my best
It was all for you
You’ll understand when you’ll be a father
It’s all because I love you

I’m sure I’m going to make mistakes and even now I remember more then a few but I’m going to do something that my parents never did - taking responsibility for my actions. Saying I’m sorry because I mean it and not because that’s what the other side needs to hear and most important of it all - be there for my kids

פורסם בתאריך 23 בSeptember 2006 ע"י
תחת נושאים: Being Israeli, Family